Romantic Body Language 3

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Responding and connecting continued

Now is the time to engage in light conversation and to match your body language to theirs.  The more you can get the other person to talk about themselves while you show sincere interest, the more they are likely to like you.  Show interest by listening.  See our section on listening skillsTest your listening skills and see how you do on this often overlooked part of communication.

Maybe – 19 body language clues that say “yes or maybe”

  • Sidelong glance(s)
  • Looks at you a few times
  • Holds your gaze briefly
  • Downcast eyes, then away
  • Posture changes to erect
  • Preens, adjusts hair, attire
  • Picks lint (real or imaginary) off your clothes
  • Turns body toward you
  • Tilts head slightly to one side
  • Narrows eyes slightly
  • Smiles
  • Matches your posture
  • Eyes sparkle
  • Licks lips
  • Strong, firm handshake
  • Natural tone, volume, pitch and pace of voice
  • Altering facial expressions to match what is said (smiling when being friendly, etc.)
  • Relaxed upright posture, arms swinging naturally while walking
  • Nods

No way – 23 body language clues that say “not yet or no way”

  • Never sneaks a peek
  • Fleeting eye contact
  • Looks away, eyes level
  • Posture unchanged or slumps
  • Turns body away
  • Moves away
  • Does no preening
  • Arms Folded / Legs Crossed
  • Head remains vertical
  • Shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction
  • Neutral, polite face or negative expression
  • Normal or dull eyes
  • Keeps mouth closed
  • Leans back and looks down
  • Limp, weak handshake
  • Leans in too close
  • Weak, soft voice
  • Stars at other person during silences
  • Maintains eye contact too long (over 7-10 seconds)
  • Rigid, stooped posture, feet shuffling
  • Folded arms, crossed legs, picking lint off own clothing
  • Twiddles thumbs, drums fingers
  • Clenches or wrings hands, plays with jewelry

When in doubt
If you are in doubt about what is being said, the best course of action is to ask for clarification.  “I sense you are (preoccupied, nervous, distracted, concerned, etc.), would you like me to (leave, talk to you another time, ask for a dance later, etc.).  Thanks for the chance to meet if even for a moment.”  People really appreciate honesty and sensitivity.  You have a chance to gauge their reaction to what you have said and perhaps build a relationship from there.  Communication is the foundation of all relationships.  We encourage building communication skills.  Next page learning to read and speak the language

• Romantic Body Language 4 • See our recommended reading list for body language.