What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me? I am 22 years of age and I have not dated anyone. I am very shy and have a hard time expressing myself around other people.  It has been a struggle for me most of my life.  I really want a relationship.  What can I do? signed, Misunderstood, age 22

Dear Misunderstood,  It is very difficult for a shy person to show others that they are interested in a friendship or a relationship.  The body language of many shy people is often interrupted as aloof and not interested.  Here are some suggestions for you to consider:

1.  Read all of our articles on Body Language.  If you can improve your body language you will increase your chances of attracting a relationship.  There is an old saying “act the part become the part”.  As hard as that may be you must act friendly when meeting others.  Smile and make eye contact even if you are uncomfortable doing so.  A smile lets people know that you are willing to be approached and that is a big step in attracting others your way.

2.  Brush up on your mingling skills by reading our article on Mingling.  Take a risk and approach someone you don’t know and practice some of these skills.  Don’t sit back and wait for someone to approach you.  At least 25% of the population are shy and introverted which means there are many people that feel exactly the same way you do and unless they take action themselves they will also be feeling left out and alone. 

3.  We have a great articles for singles looking for a relationship.  Please read all of our singles information and take action on the items you can force yourself to do.  It will require action on your part.  You cannot sit at home and expect your life to change.  You must put yourself in social situations that will allow others to see and meet you.

More than likely an extrovert will be drawn to you.  Opposites do attract more than not when it comes to personalities.  All you have to do is to start being aware of your body language especially your smile and once you show you will let people in then there will be opportunities coming your way.  Start practicing with people that you run into during daily errands – like the grocery store clerks, cashiers, etc. Also once you make more friends, don’t hesitate to ask them to introduce you to others.  It helps having someone make the first introductions and then conversation can take over from there.  I wish you well.

Please understand you have free will.  This advice is given only in the realmof personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitutefor therapy or professional counseling.  We wish you well.