Am I being a fool by reacting

Am I being a fool by reacting?

I have been married 28 years. We get along good. We have our up and downs like every couple. Recently my Wife wanted to visit her sister in California. We are from the east coast. She was gone 1 week and had a great time. I missed her terribly! Once she came back She was going over all the excitement of the Napa valley Holiday. During one of her descriptions she mentioned touring The Valley with her Sister’s Husband alone in a little sports car. It struck a nerve with me. I thought the two of them touring around the Wineries tasting Wine without her Sister was not a good thing. I became instantly jealous and hurt at the thought of the 2 of them all cozy cruising and having fun without her Sister being there. When I mentioned it to her and told her I didn’t think that was a good idea she flipped out and called me a pervert. Am I being a fool by reacting to this by being so insecure? or do you think it should not have been happy for her enjoying His company ? I am really confused and would like your advice. signed, hawk58, age 48

Dear Hawk58To react the way you did to this situation would suggest you don’t trust your wife.  Do you trust your wife?  Has she ever been unfaithful to you in anyway?  You have a right to your feelings however they do suggest to your wife that you don’t trust her or the relationship the two of you have built together.  Please read our article on  Jealousy-How to handle it.  The best advice I have for you is to read our articles on Self-esteem so you can feel more confident about you and what you offer to your wife and your relationship with her.  Don’t allow your insecurities to build a wall between you and your wife.  If her sister trusted her husband and her sister to be together then I feel that is a good sign that you should also.  We can love our spouse very much and still enjoy the company of someone else.  That happiness she felt and described does not lesson her love for you or for your relationship.  It is okay that she enjoyed his company and it is not a reflection of you or your relationship.

I would suggest you apologize to your wife and tell her that you were feeling insecure and lonely while she was gone and that you really missed her.  Reassure her that you do trust her and the relationship that the two of you have built over the years.  Apologize for your behavior and then move forward and work on your self-esteem. 

Please understand you have free will.  This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling.  We wish you well.