He started avoiding me

He started avoiding me.

Hi, I just want an advice of my issue, i had a love affair with a guy in 2004, we had a great time with his family members and the life was so cool.

But, suddenly after an year he started avoiding me saying some reasons but the actual reason was his best friend who  didn’t like me i spoke with his friend made him clear that i’m not going to effect their friendship he is not listening me.   But i truly love my boy friend i cannot stay without him. .I spoke with him recently he started shouting at me saying not to call.  Please help me i want him at least as a friend Please I’m waiting for him from July 2005 thinking that he will come back…………  I’m ready to wait for another one year but I need his luv.

I can give u one example how much he loved me, he had a cell phone with airtel connection he lost it after that he didn’t go for a connection at all then we struggled a lot to get back the same connection i asked him to choose some other number but he said that he doesn’t want to loose this number which was responsible for our affair.  But now he is acting crazy. All my friends spoke with him but he is not changing his intention the only sentence he says is ” Its not going to happen i can’t marry u”  JUST LEAVE ME MIND U’RE WORK.i will be awaiting for u’re reply.  signed, shink022, age 22

Dear shink022:I understand your hurt over this situation.  When you truly  love someone and they stop returning those feelings it can be very devastating for the person being rejected.  Here are some things I would like for you to consider:
1.  Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime.  People will enter our lives for a few days, some for a few months, and some for a few years.  Each of those people have something to teach us and some life lessons to offer.  Ask yourself “what did I learn from this man and this relationship?”
2.  You cannot force a relationship or feelings to come back.  All relationships change over time and this one has changed and he is telling you that he is no longer the one for you.  Don’t live in denial any longer about this.  He has made it clear and why would you want him back if he doesn’t feel the same as he did before. 
3.  Mourn this loss, forgive yourself and him, and then move forward.  Please read our articles   on Forgiveness and  Grief and Grieving Process .
4.  There is the “right mate” for you that will be your long term partner.  The sooner you move forward and stop hanging on to false hope with this guy the sooner you will meet the mate that is meant to be yours for the future.  Learn from this relationship instead of trying to get back with him. 
Please read our articles on  Self-esteem and work on building yours up so you won’t feel the need to put your life on hold waiting for someone that has made it clear he is not the one for you.   Anytime you try to “force a relationship” there will be negative results.    Move on and stop waiting for this guy. You deserve better.  I didn’t meet my ideal mate until I was 35 after many serious relationships in between and one marriage.  Give yourself some time and learn from this and move on so the right mate can enter your life.

Please understand you have free will.  This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling.  We wish you well.