It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.” How do you get past the “push pull relationships”? I feel I am in that sort of relationship and just don’t know how to stop. I feel the other person must be getting something out of this relationship. signed, push pull, age 38
Dear push pull, Yes, you can bet the other person is getting something out of this relationship if it continues in this manner. Many times the push pull relationships represent Hidden Issues and Expectations. Please read our article on that topic and see if it may fit your situation.
Honestly the best way to get past this push pull relationship is to stop what you are doing and do something completely different. Get off the Merry Go Round in this relationship and that will change it all together. Once you stop being a part of this push pull behavior then that will cause change overall. Remember you cannot control the other person but you can control yourself, your behavior and your choices. Choose a different behavior.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.