Fighting Fair Evaluation Guide
The way you handle conflict with your friends and lovers will ultimately determine how the relationship develops in the long term. It’s no surprise that we get what we give and yet there are too many people that insist on fighting dirty and ruining everything.
Manual Version of the Fighting Fair Evaluation Guide:
The following questions are designed to give you some insight into how you and your friends or lovers deal with conflict and disagreements together. We recommend that you and your partner complete this form separately and then come together to compare them and have a heart to heart discussion about how to improve the way you, as a couple, handle conflict.
INSTRUCTIONS: Think about how you and one specific person handle disagreements and write in the number that you think is representative of how often this occurs.
Give yourself a score as follows: 1 = never, 2 = rarely, 3 = sometimes, 4 = often, 5 = very often.
|We name call.|
|Things get out of control when we argue. (One of us gets nasty or abusive.)|
|There are bad feelings for a long time afterward|
|Past issues from your current relationship come up during disagreements.|
|There’s frustration even before we deal with problems.|
|We forget what we’re fighting about but continue to fight.|
|One of us must win.|
|We place blame.|
|Neither of us listens to the other.|
|TOTAL (Add up your scores.)|
Note your total score and click here for the Fighting Fair Score Evaluation.
The “Fighting Fair Evaluation Guide” and the “Guidelines for Fighting Fair” are adapted from the book Talk to Me: How to Create Positive, Loving Communication by Steven & Catherine Martin.