Depressed over a divorce
Dear Positive Way, My husband decided that we should not stay together and we are getting divorce, it happen almost a month ago, he doesn’t sleep here, I am depressed now because I wanted to have a family , and i love him i always told him that i wasn’t happy because he was very cold , but I was just trying to get a reaction from him so he could get closer to me, now i feel lost, depressed, i really don’t want to do anything, the only one that keeps me going is our one year old baby, he rejects me and is very mean to me because he says that i need to let him go, he hurts me every time we talk, i don’t really know that i am going to do with my life, to be honest i lost interest to live , i don’t sleep , i don’t eat, and i cry everyday, i want to know how can i be free again, even without him, how can i be happy again, please let me know , i don’t know who am i right now, and i don’t want to feel like this anymore, i am very sad i lost him, and he will never come back. signed, 123456, age 21
Dear 123456, All of the feelings you are experiencing are very normal in this situation. Divorce is hard at any age especially when only one person wants the divorce. It is like a death in the family and a range of emotions will show over time – anger, resentment, sadness, and depression is one of the main ones. Here are some things I would like for you to consider:
1. You are wise to reach out for help. You must take care of yourself during this time. You have a child and you cannot allow yourself to just give up and not take proper action to get yourself well again. Depression is not something to take lightly and it can get worse if you don’t take action now. The good news is that there are antidepressants that can help. The first thing to do is to see your family doctor and ask them for help with your depression. They usually have samples on hand that you can try until you find the one that is right for you. If you have to go to a walk in clinic and ask for help. Once you are on a antidepressant and it starts working in your system things won’t seem so bad. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You will become very aware that there is life after divorce and it can be a good life.
2. Start reading as many articles as you can find on our website We have many that will give you insight and new knowledge that will allow you to move forward and create a better relationship down the road. The more you learn now the stronger and wiser you will be for a future relationship. There are always life lessons to be learned and you have many to learn through your experience. Don’t waste the opportunity to learn and grow from your pain. Start with the following articles and then read as many as you can. Rebuilding after Divorce and the Five Myths and Words do Count . We have hundreds of articles so please take your time and study the titles on our home page and choose from there. Concentrate on building up your self-esteem by reading and practicing some of the tips offered. Once you build your self-esteem you will be stronger and more capable of handling anything that comes your way.
The good news: You can and will feel better over time. There is life after divorce. And it can be much better than you have ever experienced before. You will be happy again. You will find the right relationship that will add to your happiness not take away. You have your best years ahead of you.
The first step is to get to your Doctor and get an antidepressant that can help you feel better so you can move forward. Seek counseling if necessary from a professional. A minister or your family Doctor can help you find the right one. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out to family and friends and ask them to help you make decisions for yourself that will help you and your child move forward in a positive way. It will get better – I know that from my own personal experiences. Take good care of yourself first and everything will come together from there.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.