Are my expectations too high?
Dear Positive Way, I have a niece who i have confided in and i feel that she isn’t always able to be there for me on how I would like. The past two days I feel I have asked her that I would really like to speak to her as i am hurting, now i know she is busy, and I acknowledged that, however I felt i really want to talk to her as I feel I need to clear things up before I leave town. Should these expectations be less on my part?? I know she cares, however i feel if a person cares than wouldn’t they take time to talk? signed, expectations, age 36
Dear expectations, yes, your expectations should be less on your part. Many of us have too high of expectations of others and then we end up getting hurt or feeling let down in some way. Anytime we confide in another person that can overwhelm them and drain them emotionally. Each person is struggling and trying to live their own lives and that alone takes a lot of energy. When they also feel they must be there for another person when they are not quite ready then that adds an extra burden and they may withdraw completely. Let your niece decide when and if she is ready to listen. You have let her know that you wish to speak to her and now it is her decision on when and if she wants to have a talk. A person can care for another person and yet not be available until they are mentally and/or emotionally ready for a conversation. Give your niece some space and time and let her decide the timing. Respect her timing even if it is not yours. Let go of this expectation and you will find the less you expect the more you will receive in the long run. In between time, you could write down what you wanted to say in a letter or a journal for now until she is ready to listen.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.