1.Accept your role of stepmother and don’t try to become the mother.

     2. Understand relationships take time to develop. Love for your stepchildren will not happen overnight if at all.  Work on liking them first.   Look for the good in them and respect them and their privacy.

     3. Don’t get into the blame game.  You are not responsible for every misbehavior of your stepchild.  Seek understanding instead of blame.

    4. Make yourself available for your stepchildren.  Do some one on one activities with them to build rapport.

    5. Work as a team with your partner to build new house rules and traditions.

    6. Take care of yourself.  Participate in your own activities and hobbies.  The better you feel the easier it is to accept and love others.

Recommended Reading: Keys to Successful Stepmothering (Barron’s Parenting Keys) by Greene Mulford

See Stepfamily Guidelines and Resources  and Tips for Remarried.

Also see our recommended reading list for stepfamilies.