Dear Positive Way: I was going out with this girl for almost a year. Then we broke up a couple weeks ago. We broke up for a couple reason I hated it cause she would go out allot with other guys that I didn’t know and she wouldn’t let me met. She also wanted time of to see if are relationship is as great as she thinks or something. So now that were broken out she has messed around with 3 different guys I didn’t find out from her cause she wont talk to me anymore cause we got in a dumb fight and she just over reacted. But I still Love her SOOO Much and I’ve told her that I think she loves me to. But I’ve given her poems and tapes with love songs on it but it doesn’t seem to help. I know I need to give her space but there’s nothing I can do to get my mind of of her. Everything I see reminds me off her. I think that’s it. Please respond. Signed, Jack Age 18
Dear Jack: Thank you for the email. I understand you are hurting and would really like to have your girlfriend back. I would like for you to consider a couple of things.
1. It is very difficult being with someone who wants to be with other guys. Your girlfriend has been sending you signals for awhile that she wants to see what else is out there. Understand that you are 17 and I will assume she is close to your age, and that you have your whole life ahead of you. I
do feel it is important not to lock in with just one person at such a young age. You also should explore and see what other interesting people are around for you to develop friendships with and create new relationships.
2. Love is never enough to sustain a relationship. You need commitment, honesty, understanding, kindness and respect. These aspects are much more important in the long run than just love. If you haven’t read our articles on love on our web site please do so.
3. Jack, please understand that what is meant to be yours will come back to you. Let your girlfriend to and at the same time please get out and develop new friendships. Keep active and involved with others. If it is meant for you and your girlfriend to be together, then she will come back to you. Don’t force this relationship. Anything forced will hurt much more in the future. Let the relationship go and mourn your loss and then move on. Maybe all she need is some space and some time to grow and learn from others. You could use the same.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.