I push friendships/relationships
I have a acquaintance who has worked with me in a colleague position, however I feel we could be friends. I find that sometimes I push friendships/relationships, is that so terrible? and do you think that makes people push away more? I feel I have a lot to offer others just as they have lots to offer me. I find this person and I want to say hello but we both have some ill feelings because we did not agree on things in the work so it is difficult to build a relationship. I think it bothers me more than her though… signed, Searching, age 40
Dear Searching, pushing friendships/relationships is not so terrible, however anytime we push or force a relationship of any kind it will more than not end poorly. Take the path of least resistance in this matter. Be friendly and suggest getting together over a cup of coffee but don’t force the issue. If she really wants to get to know you better she will accept the coffee gathering and then you can take things from there. During the coffee gathering be honest and open about feeling that since there was some disagreement on things in the work level you were afraid that it would get in the way of you two developing a friendship. Tell her you are interested in creating a friendship and if necessary apologize for any wrong or misunderstanding that may have taken place during work. Don’t go on and on about the past issue just acknowledge it and then talk about everyday stuff. Get to know her and allow her to get to know you. See what happens from there.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.