I feel lonely and depressed after divorce
I divorced my wife few months back and i feel hurt because she cheated on me.
I was married to her only for few days.
I’m feel very hurt and cry as to why she cheated me soo much.
I ask god why he did this to me.
I feel i did not deserve this kind of cheating from my wife.
she betrayed my trust
I’m very depressed , recalling the chain of events that happened leading to divorce.
I feel worth less and feel that all my luck is gone down and i can never be happy
I’m not able to forget her either
pls pls pls help me in getting out depression and recalling her all the time and asking a question to myself as to why this happened in my life and did I deserve this? in my life
I feel lonely and don’t feel like doing anything because i feel everything goes wrong in life
I am a professionally qualified person. signed, male2791, age 34
Dear male2791, I understand your hurt and disappointment over this matter. Anytime someone betrays us in such an intimate way it is very hard on the self-esteem and very hard emotionally. Here are some things I would like for you to consider:
1. The cheating defines your wife not you. It displays her morals, principles and values not yours. People that have higher values do not abuse their relationships in this way.
2. God did not do this to you. Your wife did this and she is responsible for her choices in life. There is a karmic debt to be paid and she will be receiving consequences down the road. God is not responsible. We all have free will and make choices that sometimes don’t get us where we want to go in life.
3. Thank God that you learned this early on in your marriage and that you didn’t put many years into this relationship just to learn that you married a person with lower values and principles. There is much life ahead for you and the right partner will be there when you are ready to move on.
4. What you think and speak you will create. You must change your words and your thinking in order to create a better life. Please read our article on What you think and get the book I recommend in it if at all possible. You can change your life for the better by changing your thoughts and your words – that is a promise.
5. It is understandable that you feel lonely and not able to forget her. That is normal. Feel those feelings for a short period of time during the day and allow yourself to feel those feelings. Set aside time like 15 to 20 minutes to feel your sadness and then distract yourself with other things and if necessary you can set aside time each day to feel and work through your feelings but don’t allow them to go on longer that a few minutes at a time. Please read our article on Loneliness and Forgiveness .
6. If you still find yourself struggling after reading all of the material I have suggested then please seek out a professional counselor that can help you work through all of this. You could get a referral from your local minister or doctor.
Once you have worked through some of your feelings please read our article on Rebuilding after Divorce. We recommend a great book that will give you some solid information and suggestions that will allow for you to move forward in a positive way. Things like this don’t happen because you deserve this – they happen because you cannot control how another people acts or thinks about such things. We are only in control of how we think and how we act. You are a better person than your wife chose to be. Hold your head high and go forward and don’t let her actions define who you are – they can only define her.
We wish you well.
Please understand you have free will. This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling. We wish you well.