Change according to Webster’s denotes a making or becoming distinctly different and implies either a radical transmutation of character or replacement with something else. To cause to become different; alter; transform; convert.
Many of us make the mistake in relationships by thinking and trying to change the other person. We put all our efforts in trying to “fix” and change our loved ones. Instead of accepting them and loving them as is, we think they would be so much better if only they would act and do things our way.
We all want and need unconditional love. No one wants to feel that they can only be loved and accepted by someone if they change according to the wants and desires of that special someone.
If you think you can change another person you are really fooling yourself. The only person you can change is you! Once you change others will change. For every action there is a reaction. As you change and grow others will change and grow. Change is scary and some people won’t want you to change. The fear of the unknown keeps these people from wanting any change in their lives and so they won’t want to see you change. Don’t allow other people’s fears hold you back from making the positive changes you desire in your life.
If you want to change yourself realize it takes time. Don’t be hard on yourself if you fall back to the old ways. We are all creatures of habit. It took a long time for you to be who you are today and you shouldn’t expect to change overnight. Also remember that change is a choice. You can choose to start today and learn to develop and create the positive changes you want. There are excellent self help books that will provide you with the guidance and information you need to make the changes you desire. Try listening to self-help books on tape while you drive, do housework, exercise or perform any mundane task. Once you acquire the knowledge you need to make a change then act on that knowledge. Action is the key to change. The little steps you make do count when it comes to changing in a positive way.
Be persistent. Don’t give up until you have made the changes you desire in your life a habit! Enjoy the journey and discover the joy and excitement of making positive changes.
NOTE: Many times when we have a difficult time making positive changes in our life there is some overlooked forgiveness that needs to take place in order for us to move forward and feel better about ourselves.
Remember: A good loving relationship is one that allows each person to be himself or herself. Each person needs the freedom to grow and change at their own pace as they see fit. We can only change ourselves. Learn to love and accept yourself and you will be able to love and accept others without the need or desire to change them. Recommended reading: Changing for Good by Prochaska, Norcross, DiClemente see Amazon link below.