Am I putting a lot of strain on my sister

Am I putting a lot of strain on my sister?

I have a broken relationship with a friend and recently my sister has got to know her. I am trying to ask my sister to help me in repairing this relationship, however she is reluctant and uncomfortable.  I feel that I am not asking a lot from her, just simply to say some nice things so that this person can see me in a new lite.  Do you think that I am putting a lot of strain on my sister??  I feel we are not having the same relationship because of this situation. I feel I do not have her support and I feel isolated. signed, choosing sides, age 36

Dear choosing sides, Yes, I do think you are putting strain on your sister by getting her involved this way.  It is not fair to your sister and it is not fair to you for the following reasons:

1.  Whenever you get another person involved in your relationship, no matter where that relationship stands at this point, you will not get the results you hope for.  It may make you look immature and weak in the person’s eyes that you are trying to impress.  Don’t do it.

Apologize to your sister and tell her you don’t need her to take any action for you at all.  Don’t tell her why you changed your mind just do it.

 Now for trying to impress the other person the best way you can do that is to show confidence in yourself and not be clinging or demanding.  Live your life and be the good person that you wanted your sister to say that you are.  Actions speak louder than words.  Don’t try to talk your way through your sister.  Be direct with the person you want to impress.  Apologize to them and then live your life in the best way you can.

Please understand you have free will.  This advice is given only in the realm of personal growth and self-help. This is not to be considered a substitute for therapy or professional counseling.  We wish you well.